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I apologize in advance for my absence, I’ve been with family the past week and have also had some personal matters I had to attend to.

In my last post, I talked about how our lack of communication and lack of interaction with real people leads us to choose what appears to be our only other option - that is, anything that can simulate the feeling of the relationships we desire. If we want friends but don’t have any - we simply choose a friendship simulator (such as a popular YouTube streamer) that gives us the feeling of being in a group of close friends. If we’re looking for romance, we choose something like visual novels or erotic roleplay that lets us live out our desired fantasies. It’s not hard to imagine why people choose to take these options. There’s no barrier to entry, anyone can do it, and it’s “harmless.”

Some may argue that the examples I give are rather extreme and are just generalizations that should not be applied to a whole group. After all, not everyone who has an Internet addiction wants an Internet addiction - that person just might feel helpless with their circumstances and feels that the Internet is the only safe space they have left. I mentioned in my previous post how furries, bronies, and otakus are victims because they are social outcasts who were left to figure things out all by themselves. They had poor socialization skills or none at all, some have mental health problems, others have childhood trauma, and there very well could be an untold number of these individuals who suffer from all three conditions I just mentioned.

I wanted to talk more about something the Internet offers those who suffer alone. If you have a certain interest or hobby - but you have no one around to share those feelings of joy with you, do you really like it? Would an artist still be an artist if he had no one to gaze upon his masterworks, to celebrate his talent and skill, to pay him what he is worth? Would that artist still want to be an artist? Even the most mundane of things such as video games can become unappealing and boring when the environment you play in is lacking the carefree fun of youth and the companionship that comes with having friends. I say all this because we all have our own interests, hobbies, secrets, desires, and more.

The Internet makes it possible to explore those deep-seated interests you have without that overbearing feeling of loneliness. How does it accomplish this? First, imagine yourself walking up to a new neighborhood with a wide open gate. You are immediately welcomed and embraced into this new community. You find yourself among a group of like-minded individuals, who all collectively share the same interests and tastes. Whether you realize it or not, you start to adapt your behavior to fit in with these people who - on the surface - appear to be friendly, nice, and non-threatening. There are some quirks, however, when it comes to these new friends of yours. Some of them have “niche” interests, others seem quite devoted to the point that they can’t talk about any other subject but their hobby.

But that doesn’t matter. You’ve finally found people who are just like you and may actually want to talk to you. So you start a conversation, a simple one. You find yourself a bit overwhelmed about how knowledgeable some of your new neighbors are, it’s actually quite shocking. Some of them are old and have been in this community for years - one of the old persons decides he wants to show you around this community, and so he tells you what’s generally accepted and what’s not. Certain topics (and even opinions) - you find out, are absolutely not tolerated, lest you be pushed out of the community. However, the longer you lurk in this neighborhood, the safer you begin to feel. Nothing could go wrong, right?

This example serves to demonstrate the “creation” of a new identity in an individual. It can be related to anything because the Internet offers communities based on any and all subjects, whether it be American politics, Japanese woodworking, linguistics, or even anthropomorphic cartoon animals. For this post, we’re going to focus on the latter and its variants. Particularly because while the nature of these types of “communities” may seem inviting - they are actually the opposite. In the depths of many of these places people become wounded both spiritually and emotionally, withdrawn from their former selves. The identity they had that existed between the real world and the Internet world becomes blurred. 

Some may ask why I’m making such a “big deal” about this and will say something along these lines. There are losers in this world who are just born to be shut-ins, it’s outside of their control and the Internet is their only coping mechanism - so just let them have it! As long as they’re not hurting you or anyone else they’re fine. This careless mindset, the “live and let live” attitude is a form of conditioning I wish to break. You may not like it, but we each play a role in the lives of people we interact with on a daily basis - even those who are just avatars on a screen named “GayObamaLvr69.” I try my best to respect the dignity in the other human person behind the monitor. I don’t want to see another individual as a “non-playable character” or as a “living logical fallacy.” Unfortunately, this is what happens to those who succumb to certain online cultures. And the process is fairly simple.

I. Ease of Access

Finding yourself on an online forum or imageboard and “realizing” you’re a furry or a fellow weeaboo is fairly simple. Do you like anthropomorphic animals? Do you like anime more than conventional television or Western cartoons? Then congratulations, you’re welcome to join the club! What makes this step so simple is that you don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to have any certifications, you don’t have to own anything, you don’t have to possess any special knowledge or skills, or know any trade secrets. All you need is access to the Internet and a functioning computer or phone. If you want to become more involved in the community, all you have to really do is contribute. Join your social media of choice and brand yourself as one of them. Have an avatar or username that demonstrates you’re a part of the tribe. Ideally keep posting about the subject, even if you’re not thinking about it. While foreigners may find it annoying that you bring your interests into a conversation where it doesn’t belong - all that shows is how dedicated you really are to the community. Once you’ve spent a considerable amount of time invested in your community, you are no longer a tourist - you’re a regular. You might even one day become an e-celeb who can speak on your community’s behalf.

The problem with this is that if it’s so easy to become a member, then it’s easy to see oneself willing to do or become anything to fit in with the group. For lonely people looking for some form of companionship or who just want to talk, they may find solace in a group that likes the same shows or characters they do. Continued discussion eventually will lead to personal conversation - how does this character make you feel? Why do you watch this show? And for lonely people, one of the most desirable feelings that is yearning to be filled is to love and to be loved - and the most intense expression of this love is sex.

Pick your poison.

This leads me to my next point. Sex and sexual expression is everywhere and is incredibly easy to access, just as easy as it is to become a member of an online community. You don’t have to go into a dark alleyway with cash in your wallet to find whatever passions you have buried in your subconscious. In fact, it’s incredibly easy to find other peoples’ sexual appetites and then claim them as your own.

II. Sex as a Form of Control

Because sex demands so much of our attention and occupies so much of the Internet - even the “safe” parts of the Internet - we cannot help but think about it almost constantly. The fact that I am writing the word “sex” means that you have no choice but to think about it, which is a psychological concept known as the ironic process theory. In a post on Agora Road's, I talked about how the Internet gives you thoughts you did not give consent to. That is to say, you had no choice in viewing that gore post that anonymous troll posted on a Safe-For-Work imageboard, but now it is a part of your DNA. It’s a part of you now and you can’t unsee what you’ve seen. These anime, furry, and brony communities that willingly become hedonistic pleasure hubs, who live like the greek god Bacchus, willingly post whatever it is that rewards oxytocin, with no regard for other users. This is especially dangerous when you consider the amount of young people and minors who have access to these platforms. 

The lonely individual is drawn to the perfect creature - the man, woman, (or animal) that fulfills their need for sexual intimacy. If that perfect character is no longer sexually appealing, then they will flee to another preference that is readily accessible - all they have to do is make a single click of a mouse and they will have found something brand new to stimulate their senses momentarily. Although I haven’t talked about the addictive nature of this problem, it should be readily apparent what the issue is. For single, isolated men, the problem is an issue of finding the right “supplement” to replace the woman that is supposed to be their wife. The man is evolutionarily-designed, created, to cum into his wife. That is something no amount of pornographic images, videos, AI, or chatbots can replace. 

However, because it is so easy to be a fellow weeaboo or brony, why would you want to disappoint your community? Why would you want to join only to try and change it? If you don’t partake in any of the rituals your new community engages in - you’re the problematic one. If you insist on staying in a community that has its share of vices you don’t like - but wish to weed them out anyway, you better be prepared to be cancelled. Attempts have been made to self-segregate communities in the Online Space within the anime, furry, and brony subcultures. The “Burned Furs” was one of these failed attempts to cleanse the original sin that gave birth to the furry community - that sin being lust. The reason the Burned Furs never caught on was because both the furries themselves and outsiders knew the subtext of the word “furry” and what it meant to self-identify as one. You’re into those half-animal, half-human… things? What are you, some kind of pervert?

III. Gatekeeping Your Secret Club

Finally, we have the Terminally Online user’s favorite activity - gatekeeping outsiders and “normalfags” outside of his community. In my analogy, I gave an example of one of the neighbors being an older man who is showing the new neighbor around. What I didn’t mention was that although the gates are wide open, there are members in this community who are quick to draw their weapons any time they perceive someone as being “not one of them.” Think of all the times you’ve heard the phrase: “That person over there is not a real fan. They can’t even name all the Gen 1 Pokémon!” This tribal instinct which is found especially prevalent in fandom (anime fans, sports fans, comic book fans) is there to “protect” or “safeguard” the hobby or interest from an invasive species of fake fans or “posers.” 

The obvious issue I shouldn’t have to point out is that there is nothing to bind the alleged “community” together. There is no shared language, no shared culture, no shared rituals or customs such as you would find in authentic communities. The Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary, in an authentic culture, takes place in the middle of August where faithful Catholics go to their parish to celebrate the Mass. Where then do devout bronies or anime fans migrate other than convention halls such as Comic-Con or Bronycon? Am I supposed to believe that the annual Comic-Con is their Mecca? It’s precisely because of this fact that the only space they have is found in the Online Space, where there is no rule and no authentic culture. It is thus easy for them to bring in new recruits, new catechumens, and to change their behavior to conform to their standards and practices with little to no effort.

There is no better example of this than in the battles we see in the “culture war” within fandom. One side that proclaims to be true and honest fans, while another side that also says the same thing. Both, however, when not eating each other, will eventually eat their own. It’s an echo chamber, where everything one side likes is good, while the opposite only likes that which is “DEI, LGBT, and anti-male.” The other side believes everything they enjoy is good and pure, while everything the enemy enjoys is “sexist, racist, misogynist,” etc. This behavior results in people no longer being able to see a film, read a book, or watch a show and judge it by its own merits. One must first seek approval by the counsel within the community before even being allowed to enjoy a new show or comic book. If you like this, then you’re not one of us anymore. This shallow way of thinking leads to a lack of friendships and lasting relationships. No one can be honest with each other because everyone is terrified to express their genuine beliefs with another for fear of being “one of them.”

And so you find yourself left with two options. Stay in your-once-open community which has since closed the gates. Or leave the community and lose the acquaintances you made along the way. This can be an especially troubling decision to make for an individual whose only form of contact is in the Online Space. But what if I told you that there was a third option? This is not the most desirable option, because it effectively makes you a wanderer. What I am proposing is to stay out of any community that becomes an emotional burden, as they will only wear you down. The option to take is your own path, to be your own person. This means not identifying with a label that has been projected onto you. No matter how much one of them may seem to fit, you must realize that the false identity you found on the Internet was not created for you. To put this into perspective, there are writers and anime fans who don’t participate in “weeb culture.” This could be for a variety of reasons, but one of them could be the simple fact that they just find weeb culture unappealing and unsuitable for their goals. If the Burned Furs could exist at one point, there’s nothing to say that a remnant still exists to this day as a minority subculture.

Ultimately, the choice is yours to make. As for myself, I try to find hidden gems within certain anime genres I haven’t watched. Sometimes, I’ll rewatch a show for the second or third time because I enjoyed it so much. I never liked keeping up with seasonal anime, especially when it came to popular Shounen of the month. This isn’t to say I hate the Shounen genre (I still consider myself a fan of Fullmetal Alchemist and HunterxHunter), but I’m not devoted enough to binge certain shows or to keep up with what’s new. I had a family member gift me the first two volumes of Chainsaw Man. I still have them, but haven’t touched them as I’m working my way reading various books on other topics I find interesting.

Do I consider myself an anime fan? Maybe. Would I consider myself a part of any online anime community? Absolutely not. This is not a decision I made to boast or to feel superior. This is a choice I made so as to guard my mind, my emotions, and my spirit. To protect myself from going down the rabbit hole of specific, niche aspects of anime that darken the mind with lustful temptations and degeneracy. I did not want to see those evil thoughts, that which only a darkened imagination can produce - become so normalized to the point where I would accept it with ease. This meant cutting myself off from certain imageboards, deleting social media, deleting group chat accounts, and more. I had to say goodbye to individuals I would never talk to again - but it became much easier when I saw how clean, how much more pure my mind had started to gradually become.

Needless to say I believe this is the best option. If you’re the type of person who never did “fit in,” or was an “outcast,” then my hope is that this process will actually be much easier for you. You are your own best friend, and you know what’s best for you. If not - I ask you seek counseling with your local priest or therapist. After all this is done, you don’t have to be alone. There are countless others (not just me) who are probably thinking the same thing that you are right now.. The best thing you can do is to let your voice be heard without fear of consequence, to be honest with yourself so you can be more honest with others. I hope this post resonated with at least a few people, and again, I apologize for my absence as I was with family and still have personal matters I’m attending to. But I hope the read was worth it and I look forward to having you here again on TheMissingTouch.